My First Quote!

"Life is often like a Poem; when you begin to perceive it, it ends. But the lucky thing is, every end is a new beginning!" - My First Quote Ever
"Life is too precious to be just hanging around in it, too good to be just sleeping through most of it, and too passionate to be just thinking about it...... So, I WRITE..." ~ Sana Rose

December 30, 2010

Taking A Break For the Heck of It...

Hi friends,

I will be taking a short break - that is till the exams end. Not because I am making a big deal out of the exams. But I would rather tell you than being MIA (Missing In Action). ;)
In fact, my studies are not just happening at all. And thinking of it, I am not able to write either. But poems are being written every now and then. It doesn't have a break anyway. 

But I think my medical degree needs a bit more attention from me. Or I will screw myself. 
And I am writing this here, to make myself believe that I will be damned if I don't give it the attention it needs. 

My writing will take care of itself and Me. 
But I have to take care of my studies, I at last guess...
It really isn't enjoyable to me now, and surely disturbing, but I have no choice...

So what? Taking a break for the heck of it! :)
Love you all!
And take care...xo xo xo

 

December 27, 2010

LOL, I'm A Medico, To Top It All...!

Hi guys...
WELL, I haven't been really really feeling beautiful... umm.. But, yeah, the exams coming on January 3rd truly sucks
I have 6 days to go, and 6 months' portions to study. I wonder if that is possible.
And even in the wake of all, I am lazy. I just can't believe I am actually doing what I don't want to. I don't want to be there, for God's sake! 
But that's where I am... With hordes of text books to study, and my heart in writing...
I have been too irritated to come here. It might infect the readers, too. And the laze became craze... and then a haze... There's only one reason I am staying at a medical college, I thought. My Love.
But sudden pangs of pain strike me every time I realize that's not what I want...

I am a writer, a bit of an artist... and I am a Medico, to top it all! I say it to friends merrily. But I don't feel a little bit glad to say it. A feeling of self-betrayal. A feeling of I-Know-This-Is-Not-What-I-Want. But somewhere I want it, too...


AND I think I got the reason. I found the reason after 3 days... And it is named : Missing Your Heart. I left it with him when I came home for vacation. :)


The toughest part of being upset is not knowing why you are upset.
I worked on that and got that, so I was half fine this morning. 
SO I decided to work out the rest.

TO start with, I treated myself to two cups of shrewd Green Tea. Its bitterness dissolved some of my own bitterness.
Yesterday, I had written a Tanka, The Sneeze on A Winter Morn. Today morning, too, I wrote one. 
(A Tanka is a Japanese form of poetry with five lines, with a syllable sequence of 5/7/5/7/7. No Rhyming.)
The winter here is not snowy, as I wish it were. 
There's fog and mist in the morn, a cool dry breeze. I think that's it.
Winter.
And Wintry verses...

WINTER is giving me a morning Tanka treat now...
Today's Tanka is titled Rising from the Darkness.
AND this is another wishful moment I captured as I sat in the balcony, rolling up the shutters and letting the cool air fondle my face, gazing at the mist-veiled blue mountains (the Nilgiris) and the sparkling River Chaliyar, meandering through...
I closed my eyes and took long breaths to ease the anger my insides felt... I let the new born sun rays warm my eyelids, spreading an inner light as the cool air caressed me...
I let it cure me of last night's miserable moments of loneliness...


THEN I worked out the rest of the frustration on the gym rope. Yes, vented it. 
And well.

Let me share the Tanka here...


The fog scatters light
As the sun rises at dawn
On this wintry morn,
Veiling my soul from the dark
Nature of lonely moments...

-December 27th, 2010
BUT, often Life is not as easy as poetry... But I am feeling fine anyway. 
Drink Green Tea~~~

*It helps you forget bitterness, because it is bitter. 

*It helps you be patient, when you want to drink it but you can't. You end up drinking it if you really want it. So you end up doing what you want to, and couldn't. (My Crazy Idea)

*It helps you be cool, because it has a few mint leaves and.... Mint is cool... ;) :P
Then, PRAY...
Pray to the Almighty, because, without Faith and Prayer, you are nothing but a material existence... The blood flows through the chambers of the heart, all right, but it would still be empty... When you question God, you are questioning your own existence...
The point I make is to those who do not believe in God...
Even a tiny pin, a tiny plastic ball - no, why, even big things like computers and machines and cars - are MADE. They are made by us humans. 
If they need to be MADE, so what about this magnificent, vast and amazing Universe, the Earth, the stars and galaxies? 
Are they slight?
The answer is NO. 
THEY are then made by a greater power, no doubt...

I have been talking with a poet friend, and he says he is an atheist. Denies God's existence. May be he has reasons to say religions are unnecessary, the origin of all trouble etc, etc.
But, why do they not believe of a superior power? Because the atheists are too arrogant to accept that?

I did not mean to enter the spiritual level of thoughts... But I was so agitated after the discussion with that poet, may be a bit emotional, too... jeez.. :( I just can't see WHY they don't believe. May be they can't see why we guys believe either... huh!


Anyway, that's about today. 
Goodnight... And today I am sleeping a bit sadly, because there was no goodnight kiss... :(
xxx





December 23, 2010

I Told You So...

Well, hello, there, guys... 
Like I expected, I didn't make it and I am glad about that - Now I won't think of short stories ever in my life... And competitions... I hate being told to write on something particular. I write what I like. It is not easy to write what someone wants. I just can't do it and I had told that to the guys who made me go for it. Damn it, that's what I have to say. I wasted a day.

By the way I am writing poetry again... and getting good appreciation, too. So much for being hurt... huh!
I have added four new poems there.

Now... what was I planning to tell you...?
Yes, the cover design - the designer has been assigned and the work will start this week, I think. 
And what - the novel - it's going fine, I am in the tenth chapter. And literally in love with Noah.

I am home today, obviously, and I am not giving the poem here, after all.
It is in poetfreak. Check out my links. Ok? 
I am late today and not feeling so nice. I think I'll just get out of the way. By the way

A friend tagged a photo in Facebook - Who is stupid? Boys or Girls?
I replied:
"Girls are stupid when they unselfishly love boys. and boys are stupid when they think they can fool girls all the time..." 
That's the fact when I think of it. Well, what do you understand from the words?
That I love to reply extravagantly, pretending to be clever. 
And to be frank, I am a Dumbo.

Goodnight, people...

By the way, who is reading me anyway???!!! :D

December 19, 2010

Realizing Love - The Story

Bunny rabbits had always held a fascination to little Tina. She thought the world of her stuffed bunny doll which had two long ears that drooped on either sides of its pinkish white face, with huge cartoon-character eyes. And it had two soft teeth that protruded out of its smiling mouth below its black nose. And it had three whiskers on either side of the snout. And Tina adored it, held its fluffy arm and carried it around. For five-year old Tina, Love was Bunny Rabbit.

“When will Mama come?” she asked, waddling into the kitchen where her nanny was cooking.
“She just left,” Sara, the nanny replied. “What do you want to eat, Tina baby?” She looked at the little girl standing with a disturbed look on her face. Tina was such a pretty girl. Again, the stuffed rabbit was in her arms.
“Love, what do you want for breakfast?” Sara asked getting no reply from Tina.
“I don’t want anything,” Tina retorted. “Where is Mama again?”
“She went to work, you know that,” she answered with a bored drawl.
“Work!” Tina exclaimed. She stomped out of the kitchen and went upstairs to her room.

Mama was at work. Papa was at work. And they came back after she slept.
“They don’t love me, Bunny,” she said to the large stuffed doll. Its eyes were wide and mouth curved up in a toothy smile. As always.
           
Tina strode to her small bookshelf and sat her bunny in a small chair. She began rummaging her story books and colouring books. Yes, she found the one she was looking for. She pulled it out and sat down on the floor.
“Look, Bunny, Mama gave this book,” she talked to Bunny as if it was nodding. “She gave this for my fifth birthday.” She opened the red book and gazed at the first page, thoughtfully.
“A Happy Family!” she read with great animation on her face. “I read it, all alone, but it’s all wrong.”

She looked at the illustration – there was a Tina-like girl, Mama and Pap, with their arms around her. She crossed out the faces of the Mama and Papa and began doing her own sketch in the page.
           
She skimmed through the rest of the book and changed all the pictures in the next hour with a pencil.
“This is right now,” she said with a sigh of relief and looked at Bunny earnestly. “This is a Happy Family.”

*
Time was ten at night. Tara felt her legs were numb after a whole day sitting behind the office desk. She went up to her daughter’s room.
           
Tina lay peacefully in her small bed. And the stuffed rabbit was still there in her arms. A book lay wide open beside her pillow. She must have been “reading to Bunny” as usual.
           
When Tara went to tuck the quilt safely under Tina’s chin, she noticed that the book was the one she had given Tina on her fifth birthday. A Happy Family, the title said. It was a hurried pick at the bookstore and the wise-looking lady there had said it was “perfect for growing kids”. Now, which kids didn’t grow? But she had picked up the book and had it gift-wrapped anyway.
         
The back cover boasted about the answers the book had. What is love? What is care? What is a family? Kids would know all these after reading this! She felt a little clumsy, as she picked up the book, a sudden wave of realization hitting her in the darkness of the carelessness rather than the darkness of the night. She opened the book for the first time, wondering what it said.
           
And she didn’t know the tears welling up as she looked at the strikes and crosses in the book. Tina had read it thoroughly. And the picture in the title page was no more Mama, Papa and little girl. It was the little girl and the Bunny rabbit. She put the book the same way beside Tina’s pillow, kissed her and left without a noise. 

Love was Bunny Rabbit for Tina and Tara didn’t know how to change that anymore.

*
Growing up did many things to you, Tina thought as she walked down the beach. She held a pen and bit its end as she pondered on what to write. The sun was descending in the horizon and the sky was orange and rose. The clouds looked mesmerizing with a golden lining to them.
           
And the sea was a live pool of golden glitters. Waves hit the shore and children ran farther screaming. She clutched the notepad in her hand and gazed at some kids who were busy building a sandcastle. Suddenly, a large wave crashed on the shore and the kids screamed together. As she looked on, she saw the sandcastle tumbling down.
           
Yes, she was looking for this – a prompt. She sat down in the sand and dug her feet into it. She paused before she began scrawling.
           
Her Eric had gone to her parents’ house. To ask her hand in holy matrimony to her father. They have been living together for almost two years now. And she had said she didn’t want marriage or kids. But he had been adamant about that. Kids came later.
“I want to marry you, Tina,” he had said.
          
 She had an uncertainty in her heart, even though she was happy to feel wanted. Until now, she hadn’t realized the fear she had. And she began writing.

Love is just another sandcastle. The farther it is from the raging sea, the safer it is. But the fact is, sandcastles can be built only from wet sand – sand touched by the salty sea… And so is Love – always touched by the salty tears just like sandcastles are sprayed with drops of waves. Or sometimes, washed away…

*
Eric sat at his table with a smug look on his face and she knew her parents had agreed to his proposal.
“What did you write today?” he asked, moving a gift-wrapped box farther on the table.
“Just this,” Tina said dropping her notepad on the table before him and turned away.

“Hey, this is beautiful!” Eric said.

She was surprised. It wasn’t Eric’s kind of attitude. But still she expected him to reply positively. Life was full of surprises. And the most surprising when we hear or get the expected thing.

“But, you see,” Eric got up, took the gift box and walked to Tina. He handed it to her. “Love doesn’t have to be a sandcastle always…” he whispered, embracing her from behind. Tina silently enjoyed the closeness and ripped open the package. Her good old Bunny smiled up at her  from the box.
“Love can also be a Bunny Rabbit…” Eric whispered as Tina turned around and kissed him.

Love would be Eric, for the rest of her life.

***

All Rights Reserved (C) Sana Rose ;)

As Stupid As They Might Be, I Wanna Share 'Em With You!

Hi Friends,

I am gonna post the story and the poem (on my next blogging day) here, in the upcoming posts. As promised! :)
Nothing to be looking forward to - I know - And they are not really my type of writing. But I must share them with you, no matter what... :)
Another thing is, tomorrow, I am going back to college. Will be back on 24th morning, hopefully.
So there will be a gap in the blog posting. I don't know how many of you are reading this or any post, but either way, I have to talk like some are reading these crazy posts. I really do wish to be funny... I mean, with a quick wit. But, as you already know, it's just me... :(
Not a really interesting phenomenon (Me), and not able to bring it out and write anything humorously.

Anyway, here goes the story in the next post...

December 18, 2010

A Rather Long Day

Oh, dear!  
Today was a long day and a very long day at that... I have known it for a week that I was registered for the competitions at the university festival. But sure as hell, unprepared. And in the last two days, I had changed my mind a hundred times - I'll go and write - no, I don't really want to go write it - what's the big deal anyway..??? 

And Mom supported the latter. What is the big deal anyway? It's wasting a day, and even if I got the prize, there wasn't a thing more last year. Why would this year be different? I have never been short at certificates - I have a portfolio full of them, and the thing is, they are just there, without any use. So why this one? But then early this morn, Mom said I shouldn't simply miss the chance, I must go write it- She is just too proud of me sometimes... erm.... 8)

And like I said already, I didn't have a prompt, a sentence to start with. But I managed to think of one last night- a funny one - Bunny rabbits had always held a fascination to little Tina- I really have no idea what I was thinking. But I knew, whatever the topic be, the characters would be a lonely girl Tina, and some time later, her grown up life with Eric and a tiny little surprise in the end and...... of course, my own thought about Love being a sandcastle - that is displayed in the right hand side of this blog... And you know what - the theme given was: "It was a flash of light in the darkness..."

And my 17 year old brother commented, "Someone flicked on the Torch - the End!" 
Might as well have been that, LOL! :D
May be they meant a 'Realization'. 
It could have been some enlightening.
Or it could have been just plain lightning...

Whatever it be, my story is Realizing Love
Because I am a sucker for contemporary romance!

There wasn't enough time actually, and I had to skip a few sentences but that is me - I write a lot when I write, as if it is part of a novel but stop because I have to stop, for the judge's sake.
I shall post the story here tomorrow, doesn't matter whether I get something for it or not.
But I wanna share it with you. May be I wouldn't want to share it after knowing the results - so tomorrow is the date for Realizing Love - not mine - Tina's.

And the versification was another story - the topic they gave was impossible!
Vanish Poet.

Just PLAIN Vanish Poet!

All of us where in awe of it - it didn't make sense, it simply, friggin' didn't make sense!
The people doing the registration and carrying the procedures confirmed it once - it was the same - VANISH POET - Not Vanished or Vanishing - Just Vanish
They excused that the guy who suggested the "topic with huge possibilities in itself" was some Ph.D. qualified specimen. (So much for that!) 
Later, after the competition, one of the members of the council, whom we knew from last year, came and told us, they had been equally baffled by the topic and that, when enquired, the respected Ph.D. guy had said: it was a state of losing everything - whose? A Poet's?

I am gratified... :O
 And I wrote a poem titled: To the Vanishing Poets Out There...
A plea to poets - to come out and not hide - to voice what needs to told, instead of vanishing - killing themselves... The World needs you, dear Poet...

That's about it. :/


Hope the judge won't get his brain damaged...

December 17, 2010

Ponderings...

Hi there, buddies...

I didn't go to college today, what with all the lonely sitting in the class without him.... 
Hmmm... well, yeah, that and this.
I am suddenly feeling Blogomania (Blogophilia is a good term, too).
I have been swimming and diving into Blogpools. And I found some real nice ones. 
One of it was, a blog named "It's Pronounced Mern Smeether"
By a young girl, Maryn Smith, may be around my age or lesser. 
It is a blog she opened to share the funny moments in her life. I read all the posts in it and left some genuine comments. 
The thing is, those are simple conversations, mainly high school stuff. But, of course humorous.

True, such moments are scattered generously in our day to day lives. All of ours, with homes, families, and friends... And at school, college, everywhere. But, what makes this blog extraordinary is the way it is done. 
Firstly, Mern Smeether, as she is known, has a terrific humor sense.
But not all those who have a sense of humor can narrate a joke effectively -
for e.g. Sana Rose. :-/

But Mern does it very well, and she has got a knack at it.
The page is peaceful, calm and funny, the descriptions and reasoning filled with very jolly words.
A perfect blog to enjoy... :)

Here's the link to it : http://mernsmeether.blogspot.com/

Have a go at it!

Another blog I read today was an author's - named Barbara.
One blog post of hers touched me greatly, about using the gifts we have.
She said in that post: I know God has given me a gift, but I am not using it now.
What happened was she was looking back at a time she used to paint, before writing, and in the long run, the 'Painting Grace' had simply disappeared.
And her writing grace, too, was on a downhill, after a literary agent said her writing was good, but not great...

Really, I was pondering over the fact then - do we have to do that to ourselves? No, is the answer.
Write all you can, believing in it, enjoying it... There will be as many critics as there are supporters as many people who simply tell us we are doing great, to please. 
It's 1/3rd of the total...

One Critic is better than a hundred flatterers...
To say 'Never Let Your Spirit Go' is easy, but do it!

Life is full of surprises and the most surprising when you hear/receive the expected thing. :)
Not the unexpected. This is a wave that hit me while taking a hurried shower.

After all, waves of realization hit us when we least expect...

December 16, 2010

Between Love and Love

As much as this title pops up in my mind as the title of my first novel in the workshop, it suits me a lot sometimes. Between Love and Love, I am stuck in between Medicine and Literature. I have become a lousy student and a better writer, for that matter, in the long run. But as a writer who has to be established yet, I need my medical career as much as anything. 

Is there anyone out there who is potent enough to counsel me and get me started with studies? The second year textbooks are as good as new. I haven't used them really. But with the first semester exams coming in January, I would like to try them. (Cheeky!) :)

My cute guy is out of town, gone to Trivandrum for the Football Meet of 5 or 6 Homoeopathic Medical Colleges. And this morning he called me asking if I wanted any books. They passed some second-hand book stores.
Of course, I want many books! Kristin Hannah's, Nora Roberts', Nicholas Sparks'... Oh... I don't know how many. And I named the one that I am currently hunting for.
A Walk to Remember by Nick Sparks.
Later he texted me: "They have got A Walk to Remember but Rs. 80 for that little book! I bargained it for 30 and that business closed down there!"

I laughed silently, but was a bit disappointed, too. 
In the usual book store I haunt here, in our town, that author's books cost Rs. 130. And there, it was for 80, and he ruined it by bargaining it for 30! Later he said, he could get it for 50, but now couldn't go back to the same shop after the cheap bargain. LOL! 
But he has promised to get the book for me. Everywhere I look around I see that book mentioned in 1 out of every 4th or 5th book lover's list. 

Yesterday, I added the "Reactions" box in my blog posts, so that those who are not free enough to leave comments, but yet want to react to my posts can do so. 
Humans react, you know. We just have to give them the chance to!
This weekend, I am going to take part in the B Zone Youth festival. My items are - yes, you guessed it right - Story writing and Versification in English. I got the first prize winner last year (The story of the interzone is posted in an earlier post Surprise Gift). But this year, I haven't got the first sentence prompt like last year, for which, the first sentence at both B-zone and Interzone (next level) contests were the same. 
Cat's urine had the worst smell in the world as far as little Anna was concerned. :)
I really am not in a mood for competition, but the college people won't let me say no to the registration. But as much as I don't want to participate this year, I know that I would feel a little bad for not trying, when the results come after the competitions. I don't know how lucky I am this time... a bit nervous -yes...

So far so good. 
Today, I finished the complete outlining of my novel. Next I am going to write about one chapter a day, starting from tomorrow. Except for heavy loaded days.

And yes, the only title coming to my mind is Between Love and Love.

Please tell me what you think of it. 

Have a great evening. It's prayer time here. Bye for today! :)


December 11, 2010

Been Away Wondering and Wandering

Hi Dear Friends...

Like I said, I have been away, Wondering and Wandering...

After setting my hands on the Twilight Saga books, I haven't paused reading. I bought more than half a dozen books, issued two from the Public Library in Town and dived into them... still, am...
And somewhere in between, I realized why I haven't been writing much. I haven't been reading much but when I began, my own writing flowed out without indifference. And I am seriously working on the first real novel I ever began.
I completed my first silly novel when I was 15. It was titled Kith and Kin. But I didn't intend to publish it because, I knew one day I would outgrow it. 
And novels followed, but I never completed another one. And the last one I nearly finished was discarded at a sudden loss of interest. But a friend says if I rewrite it, it might come out brilliantly. The plot needs more experience in writing. It is a bit complex and I was 17 when I started it. 


So here I am now on a real journey. I just started a new page in Facebook to share excerpts from my novel and get feedbacks. 
I really need to know how good my writing is, or how good it can get... I would love it if anyone told me a frank comment.
That's what I need, as an aspiring writer...


Here's a 'Like' box for that page in the right hand side - check it out if you like a Romance novel with an optimum level of trouble and exploring the depths of love and friendship and family life...


Love...
SR

"I Do Not Want To Be A Doctor Who Writes, But I Want To Be A Writer Who Heals..." - Sana Rose