My First Quote!

"Life is often like a Poem; when you begin to perceive it, it ends. But the lucky thing is, every end is a new beginning!" - My First Quote Ever
"Life is too precious to be just hanging around in it, too good to be just sleeping through most of it, and too passionate to be just thinking about it...... So, I WRITE..." ~ Sana Rose

September 29, 2011

The Musical Basin and Other Stories

Hello there!
Did you just think I am going to review some Short story collection? I bet you did! :D
And so, here we go - have you heard of Musical fountains? Of course, we all have heard of Musical fountains in theme parks and someplace else. 



But I bet you haven't heard of Musical basins. 
I haven't heard of Musical basins in all these years I have lived - okay, 23 only. But I saw one - now, I see it everyday, and hear it, too.

You are wondering where it possibly is. In some theme park - no. Nor is it in any famous place. It's in the ground floor bathrooms of the Ladies Hostel of GHMC, Calicut - my college hostel, that is. :D
We people were kinda puzzled when we began to hear some weird whistling sound. I thought it sounded like a kettle on the burner. Only that there was no kettle or burner here at this dingy place. (All right, it's not absolutely a Ghetto place, but it is not the most beautiful place in the world!)

I would have shared a photo of it here, but since it might offend you and insult my sanity and question the sanitation and cleanliness of the place where we have our daily baths, I am avoiding that impulse. I really wanted to take a snap of the place, but I would rather not contaminate my camera. LOL!

So there, I guess there is some glitch in the pipe lines. May be some air. No, I wouldn't use the word 'flatulent' but something is wrong. The whistling goes on and on constantly, until someone hits it. I don't know why I even care about it, let alone tell you people about, but then, it's something we are talking about here often. 

Now, can we move onto books? :) Yeah, I have been voting for some books at Goodreads. True, I don't like all the books that are popular, but I guess, I have enough reasons when I do like a book and when I do not. :)
So this past week, I read Nicholas Sparks' A Bend in The Road. I must say the plot was great. Especially, the narration. Two POV's are used. A first person narration that leaves us suspended till the end. We hang to the book to know who is this person speaking - the mysterious person. It gave me a psychological fiction feel. And it's a different one he used. And the third person narration that moves the story forwards.
And, again, I also read Sidney Sheldon's 'Best Laid Plans'. And I liked that - the suspense was different. There was no suspense - we knew all along who was the murderer that keeps appearing at various scenes. Only that in the end we find we were wrong. How's that for a suspense? But I don't understand why Sheldon started the story with a revengeful woman named Leslie Stewarts and ended the story with his famous heroine Dana Evans, reporter at Washington Tribune. From the middle of the book onwards, Dana was in focus. I absolutely don't get what it was about. But it's okay as long as the story had good suspense. But I think it's time I read more deeper books. Sheldon's writing is very simple and direct and succinct. To the point, to be exact. As far as I am concerned, I am not a thriller author, so I must read more books that adhere to my type of genre. 

Well, to the Amidst Sandcastles updates... I am EXCITED!!! You hear me? Yeah, I just told it aloud.
It was yesterday that the idea struck me like a lightning... I was having breakfast, a pretty hurried one. That's when the insight came. Insight is defined as an idea that occurs to a person, in completely unrelated circumstances, when the person is not thinking of anything related to it. And people with insights tend to be creative, apparently. LOL! ;) So, I had this insight that answered many things in the story.

I was surprised at the sudden twist that came up - and if it surprised me, I'm sure it's one you didn't expect either. So there's another surprise in the story for you! :) And it felt so good as I let things click into their right places and the last piece of a huge book-length jigsaw puzzle fell into place... :)

Let me know if you are intrigued. I want to resume writing the part 2 ASAP. I haven't done anything yesterday.
Now, talking about yesterday, it's another story.There was this movie I wanted to watch. Under the Tuscan Sun. It's based on the memoir written by Frances Mayes. And I was so obsessed with the movie that I spent all my time trying to download it. But it just didn't happen. :( And there is also another one I want to watch. Eternal Sunshine on The Spotless Mind. It happens to be a romance science fiction and I really wanted to watch it when I saw that Kate Winslett was starring in it. :( But that attempt failed, too.
So with these obsessions, I couldn't really work on anything yesterday. That was one day down the drain!
But I surely will get to see those movies someday soon.

So today I am here talking without waiting for night. What else is happening around me? Musical basin, books, writing, movies... I have got a few more movies from my guy. He says SAW series is quite some chiller. I mean blood-chiller. I am fine watching horrors and such, but I was thinking, what is there to spend time for such movies. Just some adrenaline pumping, isn't that what it is? Nothing to learn from it, from the butchering and blood spilling and flesh slicing. Is there? So, I haven't yet decided whether to watch them. But I might go for the romance movies he has included in the Pen drive.

There's one movie I want to recommend you watch, if you believe in love, family, sorrows that can break us apart and sew us back together... And what it means to be a sister... a sibling... And a mother and daughter... And what illness can do to a family... My Sister's Keeper is a movie based on a book with the same title. It tore my heart to watch it but it surely gave a serene feeling in the end, when the characters accept what happened... I guess, we too do the same when they do... And Cameron Diaz did a great job there. So did the kids in it. I say, watch it, and you will realize how lucky you all are, and if not lucky, you will know that you are not the only one - there are others somewhere...

Let me get to my lunch, I have picked it and left it under the fan and now it must have gone cold, not that I care. But yeah, there's nothing more to say. I haven't written poetry for a long time. I mean real poetry. The one in the previous post was just a sprout of hurt.
Speaking of the previous post, I know it was pretty melancholy, but it's just me. And it was just that moment's feelings. I got rid of the thoughts by the next morning. And I guess, I was wrong, to an extent. 
I am loved, no matter what. So are you. :)
And the greatest love of all - is love for yourself. The greatest love of all is the one inside you...
And I know, being sad and seeking more love was just a part of that great love.

For, if you don't love yourself, you would never seek more love. or just love, for that matter. Yeah, only those who love themselves in a healthy way would care to seek love and give love. So I am not all that wrong, am I? ;)
Take care friends and have a nice weekend ahead. I have no particular plans, but I might go home on Saturday. What else - yeah - it's sunny here now. The rains have lapsed away and the days are pretty hot and today we had no classes, because of some campus cleaning program - which I bunked of course. I just couldn't hang around in the sun much. I don't know, I am so tired these days. May be because I sleep after 11.30 PM. And I wake up tired. SO fatigued that I want to fall back into bed, but the classes in the morning don't let me. But then I think I won't get any better even if I slept again. I am just tired. 

And I don't know what's that I want to have to feel better physically. Well, quit that, I am fine otherwise.
So let me go for lunch and sit back with a movie. Well, may be, about the latter. 
:) And the next book I'm planning to read is Beach Girls by Luanne Rice. Will let you know about it.

 My Copy of Beach Girls :)

Meanwhile, I have also joined some networks. Check me out at Book Blogs site. Follow the link to view my page there. I am still groping my way around that site, but it seems like a great place of networking with readers, authors, bloggers and reviewers. :)

Again back to my lunch... :D
Bye for today!

September 22, 2011

Am I Just Another Broken Glass???


A glassware breaks... you pick up the shards of glass... and glue them together... but it is a broken one and the cracks are so visible... and to hide them, you paint it with beautiful colours and place it somewhere safe and use it for something else that it was not meant to be used for...

There are moments when I wonder, isn't that what I am? Isn't this a short write on my life? Isn't the writer the glassware painted and kept elsewhere and used for something else like... discarding what's not needed...? Or things that we might need one day... Someday...? 

This is a weak moment, I confess. And more often than not, Sana Rose is the person I become when I run away from my life. When love is not very fair... When life seems so... blunt... When it's so blank even when it could be filled with so many precious things that matter... When I am not heard... 
When my heart is a hearth where my very average and sensitive dreams and hopes are burnt... God hears me and keeps me going even when I am denied the lesser things that I need most, unlike other girls of my age...

But it can make me cry, if you offered me some love that's unstained, some tenderness... I would crumble down to nothingness moistened by tears if you gave me a hug - I am so fragile... 
My heart quivers as I write this, for opening myself to the numerous eyes out here is not the coolest thing...
I grew up wanting time and words of love and care, instead of food, clothes and a house from my mother. 
The void is so great that, I constantly tried to fill it, but nothing substituted it, not for a long time. And now, I thought, someone has. But I again and again find, that void is still empty... And every time I try to fill it, it just stays that way. Everyone passes me over that void, no one looks into it. And those who try, can't see into it.
Even after all these years...


Tonight, I am in tears... And no one would understand why... Not even the one who has to... 
And it leaves me helpless... with a lump in my throat... and a tired heart, that has begun to fret what will happen if this is how it goes... In more than one way, I am a troubled girl... And I often get tired of myself... How long can I live in the world of characters... Of words...? I want words... written and said to me.... that can make me feel better, feel loved and wanted... from persons who I care and give up things for... But I just don't get it... I can find them in many places, but I can't find it where I want to, where I am supposed to find it...

Don't take this post seriously, I am in a broken state and I want to let it go somewhere. Please don't let yourself be troubled by what I write here - it comes from my soul, but it may not be a warm read for you. But you might as well know that there is a story behind every writer though there may not necessarily be a writer behind every story... 

Let me try to cheer up a bit by talking about my writing. Amidst Sandcastles is a story I am falling in love with.
What would I compare it to? Yes, a little girl's dolls and doll houses.
The characters are my dolls. I play with their emotions, vent my frustrations through theirs, and express my dreams of being loved through them. Selena gets what I want even if she doesn't want it. Noah gives her what I want, and I somehow direct it to my heart. Selena loves her daughters the way I want to be loved. And in the end, I get a story that is not mine, but feel a lot lighter and spent after a chapter. And it gets better and better. 
I have completed second drafting of eight chapters. Meanwhile, I am also working on the flashback portion.
Oh, yes, do you hear that? I have a way to live - a way to make myself feel better. Writing. 
But I am again back to square one - how long... how long can I live their life? How long can I pull their strings and maintain the show? What if all I have to say is the same thing over and over again?

It would be tiresome, right? Yeah, right, so let's see what pain has rewarded me today... Shall we?



You'll never know
How much I weep,
How many tears I keep...
You'll never know
How much I love,
How many days I have...
You'll never understand
The clouds that rain from me,
Nor why the clouds form...
Nor why I plead you 
To fill the void in my heart...
Nor why I was so afraid...
Who said memories are forever...?
What if I lose it, and can't remember you 
When you want to show me your love...?
It'd kill me, and you... 

Everyday you get a ticket to love;
in the end what counts is how many tickets you spent, not how many you got...

Goodnight everyone... xoxoxo

September 15, 2011

Love and Sense

Hello everyone!

It's actually surprising sometimes what we find to talk about, just out of the blue. :)
And today, what I thought might be something to think of is the quote I shared yesterday.
Yes, you already know it - about Love and Sense. :)

"Who says Love has no sense? Love has the greatest sense in the world. It's a divine matter. The truth is, when love comes, nothing else makes sense. And then people say Love has no sense, it's blind and mute..." 

A friend happened to tell me something like love has no sense - that it is blind, and the closer we get to a person, we understand them less, and the lesser we see their faults. Is that so? I simply disagree. :)

Yet some others think it's an extension of some inherent insanity within us. I feel it's far-fetched since for Love, I can find only one definition.
Love is An Extension of Divinity Through Us.




And I definitely don't think that Love has many faces. Love has many forms, but faces? And the faces people claim happen to be - that it starts with a smile, care and trust and ends with tears and betrayal. How wrong, how simply wrong is that assumption, for True Love never Ends. Does it?


How can we say Love ends with cheating, when true love and cheating are two different things? Any thing's end comes from itself... As for Love, doesn't it remain in us, even when we are left behind, as a small part of our past? That's not the matter here anyway. As a friend said, if they keep all its precious things in tact, my thought is right. But when they don't keep its precious things well and make a bond like bloody hell, does it make my quote wrong? 
Let's think again - WOULD IT BE LOVE IF IT'S LIKE BLOODY HELL???

 
"Love is never to be blamed
For what you are ashamed..."
-S.R. (written just now)

When love is said to have lost its magic, think again - is it Love that lost the magic? Or is it your beliefs and conducts? The latter, right? The fault rests with us, not Love.

Love is a divine matter and divinity never goes wrong... :) 

So, that's for thought. Now let's move on to the Writer's status.

I wrote a significant amount of the novel yesterday evening. Typed out 22 pages in the Word document from the newsprint paper I had used to write. I also took some time to get some facts right from my Goan friend who is helping me with the setting of Goa Medical College. And I feel better after getting the precise information. He sure knows how to tell me what I need. :) Thank you, Sid...!

And yes, I have typed the chapter 7, too, into the manuscript file today. My typing is getting better and am comfortable with it, except for my back may be. But in the end of the day, I feel I have done something today. :) It is such a great feeling. 
I am kinda in a trance lately, literally living with Noah, Selena, and others, in 1997... And when I step into that world Amidst Sandcastles, nothing else really hits me hard except the waves of imaginations.

So are you really ready for the next chapter? Yes, Chapter 5 that is. Let me know if you are. The plot is getting tighter, isn't it? But still I think my writing is so simple in language. I would really like to know if it sets the right mood and you want to continue reading it. 


Hmmm.. Not feeling much poetic now, have got work to do. Isn't there always?
I went to class today till noon. And listened attentively. When everything goes smoothly, things get better in a way we don't count. Though I admit that I really do feel I have had enough of college sometimes. But still the thought of being a doctor pulls me back to where I sit - in the last bench in the classroom. At least, I am there...


So much for being a medical student. I must say that though the college I am in is one of the best in our field, the academics and faculties are getting poorer. And I do have some worries over it. But, again, I find a place to resort to - pen and paper... Where I sort out things better than in life... And where I write for my characters what I myself can't have or do. Where I give some trouble to my characters to solve, so that I am not the only troubled person. Where, as i have always planned, life would be fair in the end, no matter what happens in between... 


Where, I find myself hidden in bunches of words being scribed about others... 


Poetry is a different case though. :)


By the way, I have a friend's book to share. It's titled Silent Moments of Melancholy. Amol Redij is an IT professional from Mumbai, India and this is his debut book. You can find his blog here.


 

I have plans to write a review for this book and as far as I have read, it's a good one, coming from an IT professional. :) Of course, Melancholy and lots of broken heart material, but it's human - that's what it is. Not mechanical, it's human with emotions that are not hidden or edited - the poet sure feels a lot of the things we can relate to. :) Try it - a word from a poet. :)


What else? There it goes - I mean time. I have to do a little more work and then I am off to pray and sleep. Today I have worked. I also watched a movie - Salt 'n' Pepper - a new Malayalam movie. And I like its direction and dialogues. Good work, that is. Basically a love story, but a different one. A good standard movie with standard humour.
But today didn't have that magic that is there usually. 


How would there be that magic when we miss a person even while he is sitting beside us?


Do not feel discerned, but everyone please check how your love life is going on, every now and then. :) Just so things are updated always. :) Mine is passing a slight hump now and it's not that finely paved, but it can be put up with.

Oh, well, it's just me - the Sana Rose, a Romance poet. ;) No, I didn't get it wrong, did I?

 No one can put up with my ideas of being in love - well, not always. But I prefer it, though.


Goodnight... 

P.S. Just wanted to remind you that I have a published book of 70 poems, The Torrent from My Soul : Poems of A Born Dreamer, and its cover happens to look like this:


Now, you might find this crude or even funny, but I find this as "not being fancy", if you know what I mean. :D
 

September 13, 2011

Unexpected Gifts

Hi, Everybody!

I'm not very sure what I'm going to talk about today. But I guess I should be writing now and then out here. Well, let's talk about unexpected gifts, shall we? :) Because I just got one a day ago. From my fiance, of course. So where were we? 
And when we talk about Unexpected gifts, we always tend to end up talking about the material things, don't we? Even I was doing the same above. 
But what should we be thinking of, actually? Isn't it the blessings that we often forget to count that deserve our thought first?
That returns us to God, for sure. 




The most beautiful thing is that even these material things that we care to count are received through God's plan. :)


So, what did I do this week?
I resumed writing Amidst Sandcastles after brooding for a long time. It was like waking up again... Waking up to my dream. A friend who reads it as I write thinks it's going pretty good. She is actually very much in love with Noah Sehnor. And so am I. Sometimes, it's like I'm writing it just to make Noah happy. Since right now he is in hospital, (Oh, yes, I know it sounds pretty silly), I'm writing it to get him out of there. But I am writing it anyway...


So here I am writing the dreaded part. I was pretty nervous about it, that I didn't know how to start it. But even after I did, I got stuck. I am talking about the flashback, set in 1997.
Now it's all coming smoothly, now that I am getting the needed feedback.
Check out Chapter Four from the novel. And let me know how it goes. :)


And it's time I began making the soft copy, directly and work on its editing as I go. :) 
It indeed is not the easiest job in the world, but it's worth it, I guess. 


What next, friends? Here's it: 
I read A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks.
He keeps his word, I tell you. In the beginning of the story, the hero, Landon Carter says that we would smile first and then cry, hearing his story. It's simply true. Nick simply knows to draw out first love and its pangs and wonders and beauty so well that it is so charming and bittersweet and yet so simple.
We may cry, feel sad that things weren't very fair after all, but then we know, that was probably the best way for the story to go. Or it wouldn't have stayed in our heart as such.
And one of the things I love about the book is how it gets its title - A Walk to Remember. Every time Landon and Jamie walk together, we wonder if this was the walk that was special enough to name the book. The walk comes at last. It was such a touching one... It was Jamie's walk down the aisle... :)
So there goes another of Sparks' book. The Notebook and A Walk to Remember really stole my heart, that I want to read it again for the first time.
I would really love to write like that. The fact is that not many people would be bold enough to write a story that ends in a sad way, and the only happy things left for us and the hero are the sweet memories of a past life. But when Nick writes it, I guess we accept it. But would you, if I write so??? Would like to know about that. I wish I were as bold as Mr. Sparks was. :)


And another thing - after I read The Notebook, I took out my own book, and flipped through it and read some verses, each moment realizing how much I have forgotten myself, how much I have changed through time... Somehow, the poesy and importance of poetry in that book made me realize how bonded poetry was to our lives, being one of the first things we start reading and by-hearting. And as I read through my own forgotten verses, I just found a way to understand myself better. It was another Unexpected Gift... And I wrote a poem on the book. :) One of my best works ever, if you ask me. Check out Remembered... here.

By the way, I have been writing rhyming poems - check it out at my poetry page at The Muse Diary in my website


What else has been happening? Let me get back to writing then. Will let you know what I'm reading next. I have some books in my shelf here - real books, not my ebooks. 
I have yet to read A Thousand Splendid Suns (Khaled Hosseini), Tara Road and Echoes (Both Maeve Binchy). And some Luanne Rice's gentle stories of love and bonds. There are too many great books out there. And I do often wistfully think, will I ever add to it...? :) There's nothing to lose to dream, by the way... 


So that's it. I have another story to work on, to rewrite a story I began while at school. 'Nd another one to begin  - Just A Dream Away...


Goodnight one and all... :)

September 5, 2011

Some Things from Here 'n' There...

Hello and hello and hello dear ones! 

Three hellos for this is the third time I am logging in to write a blog post. The other times, I got carried away with something or got interrupted with our always wonderful Internet connection! So here I am today, to share some tidbits and some snapz. :) Nothing you haven't already heard from me, as I keep updating "What's on my mind?" every now and then. :)


So what is up and running around you? Don't answer me with "Cats and Dogs". For Cats aren't necessarily running around always.
Let's see what the Feline Hero of the GHMC Ladies' Hostel was upto last weekend. ;)

He is two feet long - tall, saying humanwise. And walks royally around, when he visits His Ladies. He's the daddy cat starring in my poem When the Kitten Meets His Dad.

Here's the King Felis non-domestica. Non-domestica, for we don't entertain his presence at our hostel. What doesn't make him adorable is that he doesn't keep his coat clean. But he isn't shy to settle himself in our beds conducting the materials on his coat to our sheets, in case we forgot to close a window, or left the door ajar. 
His progeny and their mothers aren't different, they are more often the ones who do this.


So here he is:


King Felis non-domestica


This time, he has found a stashed pillow just outside our room. It was dark and I shot the pic with flash to get him in it. Seems like he didn't like the flash - see the squeezed eyes? LOL. But he didn't move even a centimeter! 

Not to mention this hostel is a dingy place that stinks of cat's urine and unknown things.


I shouldn't have started with the cat tale. But I wanted to share the pic as soon as possible, LOL. Never mind, just me. :)

This post was not meant to be a photo session, but sometimes, they speak better, I guess. Especially when I am at a loss for words quite uneventfully. 


The fasting moth of Ramadan slipped away so fast, and I am afraid I haven't used it very well, due to the very much despised exams from the beginning through the end. So guess what, I was in a very a relaxed state when the exams were finally over on 25th. 
In between, I turned 23 and I didn't know what to think of being 23. I could only be amused at the fact that how swiftly time was elapsing, how fast years were moving. I look to the future and I see - what do I see? 
What am I s'posed to see?
From where I stand now - a student, a writer, aspiring and dreaming of more covers with my name on it, a fiancée...?


I'm at a loss when I think, so I put the thoughts to rest and decide to continue being what I am now, and if something changes, I would accept it. I wouldn't want my heart to falter from that decision, but when I look back, there's a lot I did. But there's a lot I didn't do, too. There's a lot I couldn't make up to... A lot I did wrong. 
It's been ten years since I first began to write. And I find myself praying that however old I grow, I wouldn't lose my mind... Or my precious memories...


There's a reason I am talking about this now. I read The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. Just finished it today morning.
It's such a beautiful bittersweet story that warms our hearts and eyes alike...and make you love yours more... and make you want to be loved more... It's a poetically woven love story that teaches, only love remains to give you memories when you are grey and old and alone...

I see clouds rolling in... caressing the mountains in the distance...


This is a view across the road, from our front yard. 

The Notebook is a simple love story, but so aesthetically told. And I loved each word of love that Noah tells Allie, and each reason for everything they shared written by Allie and the notebook in which Noah wrote their story to read to Allie when she is too ill, being an Alzheimer's patient and forgets even him... Their love is a beauty, friends. Read the book, you will know what living is worth, and how much love could mean in the end... And how much even a long time together would seem so little when you look back when you are old...

Never let go of your heart's love, please never do... And I am happy I met mine and held on... But even that seems so slight when I think of the story I read... 
Noah waiting for a bout of memory from Allie... for a moment that she would call him "Noah..." in rare moments of remembering... Even when he is 80 and she is 78... The same romance they share in their second childhood, that they shared at 17 and 15 respectively...  

As I read the last pages, warm tears welled up and I caught them with my finger. The story got sewed to my heart, just like that. First Love, falling in love over and over again with the same person every day... Love is beauty's home...  

Okay, have said enough about reading. Now about writing, chapter three has been published. The earlier chapters are linked at the end of that page. :)

Here goes the previous links:

Let me know what you think of my fiction writing. :)

I haven't yet resumed the novel. In between I am having many things running in my mind. I am just not getting started with it though I am getting much positive feedback. May be I am just tired... trying to sit back and enjoy the world whizzing by... but yet can't bear to miss my part in it...and just be a watcher... I seldom rest, I realize...

The Clouds roll in again, for the next downpour... It doesn't know I can't stay in always... 

***
Now to events, there was an Onam celebration at college and competitions between batches. And my batch - the Kitez - won the first in flower carpet competition - the main item before the Onam Lunch. :) Cheerz!!!
Here's the beauty!

Stage One

Stage Two

Done!!!

Oopz, I just lost a dozen bucks from my phone balance when my Internet package expired. Didn't know it was past midnight! So let me go to bed now, but not before giving you dear people a rose... :) A Rose from A Rose!

Up Close and Personal... :)
 And yeah, I am holding it...

And Some More...
 

Can you take a few more...? ;) ohh...just take it, bear me...just this once... :)


Today's Thought from My Heart:

"Love can never be failed and Love never fails you... 
You just fail to realize it at the right time,
when it knocks on your heart's door.."

Goodnight everyone... 

"I Do Not Want To Be A Doctor Who Writes, But I Want To Be A Writer Who Heals..." - Sana Rose