My First Quote!

"Life is often like a Poem; when you begin to perceive it, it ends. But the lucky thing is, every end is a new beginning!" - My First Quote Ever
"Life is too precious to be just hanging around in it, too good to be just sleeping through most of it, and too passionate to be just thinking about it...... So, I WRITE..." ~ Sana Rose

December 27, 2010

LOL, I'm A Medico, To Top It All...!

Hi guys...
WELL, I haven't been really really feeling beautiful... umm.. But, yeah, the exams coming on January 3rd truly sucks
I have 6 days to go, and 6 months' portions to study. I wonder if that is possible.
And even in the wake of all, I am lazy. I just can't believe I am actually doing what I don't want to. I don't want to be there, for God's sake! 
But that's where I am... With hordes of text books to study, and my heart in writing...
I have been too irritated to come here. It might infect the readers, too. And the laze became craze... and then a haze... There's only one reason I am staying at a medical college, I thought. My Love.
But sudden pangs of pain strike me every time I realize that's not what I want...

I am a writer, a bit of an artist... and I am a Medico, to top it all! I say it to friends merrily. But I don't feel a little bit glad to say it. A feeling of self-betrayal. A feeling of I-Know-This-Is-Not-What-I-Want. But somewhere I want it, too...

AND I think I got the reason. I found the reason after 3 days... And it is named : Missing Your Heart. I left it with him when I came home for vacation. :)

The toughest part of being upset is not knowing why you are upset.
I worked on that and got that, so I was half fine this morning. 
SO I decided to work out the rest.

TO start with, I treated myself to two cups of shrewd Green Tea. Its bitterness dissolved some of my own bitterness.
Yesterday, I had written a Tanka, The Sneeze on A Winter Morn. Today morning, too, I wrote one. 
(A Tanka is a Japanese form of poetry with five lines, with a syllable sequence of 5/7/5/7/7. No Rhyming.)
The winter here is not snowy, as I wish it were. 
There's fog and mist in the morn, a cool dry breeze. I think that's it.
And Wintry verses...

WINTER is giving me a morning Tanka treat now...
Today's Tanka is titled Rising from the Darkness.
AND this is another wishful moment I captured as I sat in the balcony, rolling up the shutters and letting the cool air fondle my face, gazing at the mist-veiled blue mountains (the Nilgiris) and the sparkling River Chaliyar, meandering through...
I closed my eyes and took long breaths to ease the anger my insides felt... I let the new born sun rays warm my eyelids, spreading an inner light as the cool air caressed me...
I let it cure me of last night's miserable moments of loneliness...

THEN I worked out the rest of the frustration on the gym rope. Yes, vented it. 
And well.

Let me share the Tanka here...

The fog scatters light
As the sun rises at dawn
On this wintry morn,
Veiling my soul from the dark
Nature of lonely moments...

-December 27th, 2010
BUT, often Life is not as easy as poetry... But I am feeling fine anyway. 
Drink Green Tea~~~

*It helps you forget bitterness, because it is bitter. 

*It helps you be patient, when you want to drink it but you can't. You end up drinking it if you really want it. So you end up doing what you want to, and couldn't. (My Crazy Idea)

*It helps you be cool, because it has a few mint leaves and.... Mint is cool... ;) :P
Then, PRAY...
Pray to the Almighty, because, without Faith and Prayer, you are nothing but a material existence... The blood flows through the chambers of the heart, all right, but it would still be empty... When you question God, you are questioning your own existence...
The point I make is to those who do not believe in God...
Even a tiny pin, a tiny plastic ball - no, why, even big things like computers and machines and cars - are MADE. They are made by us humans. 
If they need to be MADE, so what about this magnificent, vast and amazing Universe, the Earth, the stars and galaxies? 
Are they slight?
The answer is NO. 
THEY are then made by a greater power, no doubt...

I have been talking with a poet friend, and he says he is an atheist. Denies God's existence. May be he has reasons to say religions are unnecessary, the origin of all trouble etc, etc.
But, why do they not believe of a superior power? Because the atheists are too arrogant to accept that?

I did not mean to enter the spiritual level of thoughts... But I was so agitated after the discussion with that poet, may be a bit emotional, too... jeez.. :( I just can't see WHY they don't believe. May be they can't see why we guys believe either... huh!

Anyway, that's about today. 
Goodnight... And today I am sleeping a bit sadly, because there was no goodnight kiss... :(

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"I Do Not Want To Be A Doctor Who Writes, But I Want To Be A Writer Who Heals..." - Sana Rose