My First Quote!

"Life is often like a Poem; when you begin to perceive it, it ends. But the lucky thing is, every end is a new beginning!" - My First Quote Ever
"Life is too precious to be just hanging around in it, too good to be just sleeping through most of it, and too passionate to be just thinking about it...... So, I WRITE..." ~ Sana Rose

October 3, 2011

Enjoying the Sun and Fun of Dreams Endless and Rose 'n' Lavender Skies...

I always want to write something so beautifully that it knocks the breath out of you, but I kind of ruin the beginning, I think. But then, today, I have this beautiful feeling inside me. I don't know if it's the poet and artist inside me that's saying this. But I have this wonderful inexplicable feeling this evening. It's something derived from my dreams.
And the dreams are about tiny things that might sound silly, but are truly romantic and truly something that would matter in the long run, when we get old.
And may be the feeling of desire is because I know that these will forever remain as dreams, and forever remain inside me, for, not many think the way I do.
And may be also because I know that my stories will have these dreams as reality.
My dreams will have these dreams as reality - it's oddly comforting to know that, though it sounds far-fetched to myself.

Let me tell you how inspired I am feeling this sunny evening. There's a pleasant air around and all are trying to have fun, playing badminton and watching movies in the stinking mess hall at this hostel. I, on the other hand, am sitting here talking to you - just to be in the moment.
To enjoy the magic of this moment.

I am reading this sweetly written book by Luanne Rice - yeah, you got it, Beach Girls. And I love the sea, the beach, the summer, the moonstones, the clams, the sea glass, the sky, the breeze, the love, the friendship and the people she describes with so much passion. I love the way she writes about what she knows, what she sees everyday, what she feels and where she lives.
And I wonder at myself - for a moment I think, have I ever written about what I go through? I would rather not. I would rather travel through my writing, writing of beaches I have never been to, of houses I have never seen, of places I have never visited. The people will be the only ones I know in my own writing. But, there is a sense of freedom to my imagination, when I do that.

Like the sea being able to meet the sky at the horizon, 
even when they don't really touch... 
And I walk by watching it...

Today as I stared at my bed after I got back after classes, wondering how to get all the things cluttered on it, since morning, I had this sudden thought - a lovely one, too. 
And I asked my fiance, "Will you let me do something when we spend time together?"
After a long time, I got his reply text: "Do what?!
Of course, he was surprised. He would be. The romantic that I am, there is no way to tell what I would be dreaming of next. :)
So, I told him, "I was thinking of reading out something. Reading aloud from a novel. And you listening to it. It would be so romantic...
He was shocked by my idea. It was my idea. He might be a great supporter. But it didn't mean he would have my ideas. Or dreams for that matter.
It is always on my mind that when I have kids, I will read them books or write and draw for them. And let them know that their mother is fun to be with, and they, too can do it like me. I'm so confident, aren't I? Well, right, most of the time. :)

I wouldn't say he was so excited about the idea. But he agreed. "Okay, if there's enough time." We shall, went unsaid though. 
I felt a bit disappointed, to be frank. And I told him, "It's okay, I practically live in my dreams, you know."
There was no reply for some time. Then he said we could read my novel - the one I am writing.
But it's in the computer and I do not think it is as beautiful as the ones I read. Anyway, I told him, "It's really good to read something, dear. It's even better to read something aloud to your loved one... And even more nicer to listen to your loved one reading..."
My words meant he had no choice. If he loved me, if I was his loved one, he would have to comply. And I don't like the fact that it would be compliance instead of sharing a dream. But I love the fact that he is trying. :) And I love him for nodding literally. 
For not asking me, "Are you crazy?" Hhh.. *Grins*...

I told him the reason of this thought. "I just want to do something different, something we would remember always..." Something that I could tell our kids about this beautiful love we shared..."

I have always been some age-old romantic young lady that you can't really find these days. May be it's an impact of the beautiful stories I read and I often ask him, "Why don't you try reading some lovely novels like the ones I have? I can lend you some.
He smiles. "I will read yours."
Now, that's awesome, but I -well, mine... My stories didn't make this romantic out of me... 
My dreams did.

And my dreams will always be mine...

But the footprints my dreams will leave behind, 
may never be traced back to me or followed...
They might as well be covered with sands of times to come...
And forgotten... 
Will I Be, Too...???

Now that's too sad for an end, I am sorry. 

So there, yesterday, I was thinking of this beautiful book I am reading. And suddenly I remembered my own writing. How much I loved the beach and the summers and holidays and stories of love and friendship and family. And I began thinking of that old story I had begun but stopped due to lack of planning. I was too young back then. And I was so excited that a beginning came to my mind - an interesting one - last night.

Rose 'n' Lavender is a story so totally different from Amidst Sandcastles. In many ways. I used to get emotional when I wrote some parts in it. I have even felt the sting of tears because I empathized about the situation the characters were in than in this story.
It was almost a dream-like story. A story in which the sky turned into a blend of rose and lavender on every special day... But the fact that the sky wouldn't be rose and lavender at two places that are lands and seas apart on the same day gives the magic a touch of reality...

I couldn't get the beginning out of my head, and to know that it came to my head after writing more than 40 stupid chapters and after 4 years of starting it and two years since stopping it, I felt so elated. The prologue stuck to my head. My heart. 

From the Diary of Liza de Mello
January 10th, 1990

The day I lost my virginity, I realized that passion could destroy more than just your innocence – more so when you were willing......... (contd.)

Okay, I am not spilling the rest here today. May be later. I have homework to do. :) And then I shall settle down to read. :) It's nice to be able to hold a book and read it. Been long since I read a hard copy. I had been stuck with e-books. But now I guess I have got over it and come back. I would read from my phone, too. But later; nowadays the days are too good to spend reading a book from a cell phone screen.

Bye for today, I think I as a bit over the top today, about dreams and stuff. But hat to do? Sana Rose means Dreams... Dreams mean Life... :) Smiles... Of all the dreams I nurture, Love remains my favorite, Love keeps its first place. Not because I don't have love in my life, not because I don't get enough. But because I always want more... :)

1 comment:

  1. geeeeeeeek!!!!man!Im so proud that I've got a friend who can produce beautiful words..and hence beautiful thoughts!!!Really yaar..this single blog of yours is as beautiful as any lovely novel!!I..I..don't have any words to say..but that i'll remember this blog as something i've read n enjoyed WITH MY HEART..And lemme not forget to say that i liked(1000+) your fiance's decision to read your novel to ur kids..u c that..he didn't ignore or reject ur wish..but made it more beautiful..May God blee u both to create magical moments together..Oh yeah..n don't forget to include me in ur prayers..:))))))

    with luv n prayers


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"I Do Not Want To Be A Doctor Who Writes, But I Want To Be A Writer Who Heals..." - Sana Rose